Sermons from the Pulpit

John 14: 1-6, 15-21, 25-27

Thomas said to him, "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?"
-John 14:5

    I am here this morning instead of over there, in the pew where I am much more comfortable, because this is Laity Sunday and this church which is gathered here, celebrates the priesthood of believers by encouraging the laity to participate in every aspect of worship for our growth and nurturing of one another.

     MAY OUR MEDITATION ON THESE WORDS AND THE WORDS THEMSELVES BE ACCEPTABLE TO GOD AND HELPFUL TO HIS STEWARDS WHO ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY.

     I come to you this morning as a retiree, who is doing some soul searching as I enter this last season of my life. I’m retiring from work in the not-for-profit world of education and social work; leaving behind work that I have always considered socially important Making a contribution to my fellow human beings has justified my life in many ways because it gave me purpose. I know the scriptures tell us we are not justified by our works but it was my need. I felt that I was someone in the scheme of things. I felt grounded by my purposes and abilities and my need to accomplish good things. It has been a good journey.

     Now I have no work. No daily routine of purpose sanctioned by society as legitimate nor affirmation of co-workers or employees, due to accomplishing good things together. There’s no more making our lists and checking off the accomplished tasks and being energized by our progress, and being challenged to do more as a result.

     Endings and beginnings; the very heart of human life. So today’s text has a timely message for me and I don't know that I am capable of hearing the fullness of it. But I want to try to share what it is that I am experiencing. Thomas said, "we don't know where you are going Lord, how can we know the way?" AND JESUS GIVES A PROMISE. The promise is that the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, will be sent to teach the believers all they need to know. The believers being those who keep in their hearts His commandments (to Love God with our whole being and our neighbors as ourselves). The Spirit will teach us all we need to know... that is the promise. This Spirit of truth whom the world cannot receive is there for us forever and can be experienced BY US if and when we are not determined to go our own way, the worlds way, without regard for HIS commandments.

     As I go, then from the work world to retirement I have the promise and the hope that my life will continue to have meaning and purpose. The letting go of my own prescription for what will come is my part. Then the Holy Spirit will lead. With some brief glimmers of understanding, I feel I can venture forth now into the next part of my life.

     With quite a few mile stones, transitions, changes behind me, being 68 years old, I have some confidence in the journey coming up. The journey thus far, having had some sharp turns as well as easy curves, hills and potholes and rough roads along the way. Close your eyes for a moment to mark your own journey as I outline some of my milestones. Child to teen, to college student, to working, to marriage, to children, to turning 30, to departing children, to children marrying, to my divorce, to parent deaths, to accumulating accomplishments, to grandchildren, to retirement. I have some confidence now in the journey coming up. So here I go marching into retirement with a full head of steam.

     I have had this incredible one and a half years of reconnecting with my family and dear old friends in a way not possible while working. I was able to sit with a friend dying of cancer who had recently moved from Kentucky to Nebraska because of a job change and he therefore had had no one else; his family all gone. I stayed with a friend in Cleveland, Ohio for several weeks as she was recuperating from heart bypass surgery. I helped coach a soccer team in Baltimore Md. In the absence of my oldest granddaughter’s real coach. I went white water rafting on the Skaggit River in Washington State with my youngest son in January with the snow and the eagles and a too small wet suit. Better too small than too big, I am told. I met for the first time my youngest grandson, visiting from Japan with his mom and dad (my oldest son) and actually had time to get to know him and get reacquainted with son and wife, hiking Mt. Baker and cooking wonderfully foreign (to me) meals together. I drove my van through some of the most awesome landscapes imaginable in this country with a sense of freedom I cannot remember feeling before as an adult. This was a great place to start the wind down part of this life. It felt good, it made sense and some of those kinds of adventures and personal caring opportunities can still happen again and again as long as the health and the retirement fund hold out. And when either or both of those things give out, other opportunities will be there and I pray that I can be open to whatever they may be.

     But what is next? What do I do with this new reality that is mine? Where I alone have the responsibility to question my purpose and need and have the Authority to proceed and choose what will be done, when and why. There is no escape for me now; it is mine to do. The Holy Spirit will be there for us forever as we keep the Love of God before us and care for our neighbors as we would ourselves (Jesus promised). Sounds preachy but what I have experienced in these 1-1/2 years in a new way, is the letting go of what was past and very important to me. TO BE FREE TO BE IN THE MOMENT. WHAT JOY! WHAT UTTER THANKFULNESS FOR MY LIFE!

     No longer being tied to earning a living but just living within my earnings, I have this opportunity to question the significance of my being that now has these blank pages to fill in. How exciting! How frightening! How liberating!

     These blank pages that can no longer be filled in by work demands, state requirements or government grant guidelines or anyone else’s agenda; in short the worlds agenda. So it is clear to me this is my time to put the promise together with the love that is in Christ’s commandments because now I have no good excuse to avoid it. And being true to my nature I am sure I'll find new ways to avoid accepting the promise. But the Holy Spirit will help me find the way in spite of myself.

And if the promise is true, when I seek to know the truth about the way for me it shall be open to me. The struggle for me is to believe in the promise enough to let go enough to hear the message. It is not the way the world has taught me to respond; it is not the code of success as I see it demonstrated daily in the news or in the work world; it is not the measure of justice as we experience it in our daily lives; it is not in the amount of security we try to gather around us. If the promise is true, we can know the way, and Christ freely gives us His peace, as He has promised. Our part is as simple and as difficult as loving our God with our whole being and loving our neighbor as our self .The way and the peace is wrapped up in that love.

     My prayer in this life journey has to be: Holy Spirit hold fast within me so that I may connect the way ( given by the Holy Spirit) to the love demonstrated by the Christ. Not just when I am out of control and feeling miserable, isolated, disenfranchised, scared, depressed, angry or crazy. But encourage me to call on that Spirit of truth when things are going right! Help me to pause when the world is mine and I feel in control, certain and charging ahead. For the peace that is promised comes in those moments when it is needed not just when we have enough sense to let go enough to call upon it.

     Can you hold on for a few minutes more? Because here is one of those potholes. Just when I’ve come to this time of REFLECTION AND CANDOR AND RENEWED ZEST for my life journey, I MOVE. I Move because I need to face the fact that I need to downsize, get rid of the unnecessary baggage, cut my expenses and eliminate home maintenance. And I don't want to leave it for my children to do. All of which will allow me to be an active participant with my grandchildren, family and dear friends, rather than being a once in a while visitor. A move from a wonderful little cottage on a pond in Kingston, where I used to drop my fishing line to tempt a fish or two early in the morning before heading off to work, or sit out on the screened-in porch at dusk and listen to the peepers sing their song; and sometimes sleep out there when my granddaughters visited.

     I have moved to Exeter, to a second floor apartment with 3rd floor bedrooms and bath, all about half the size of my cottage. I have arranged for things to go into storage; things my children say they would like to have. Some will go to Castine Me. I will be spending time there when my daughter and family return to Baltimore after their summer vacation. I wonder: have I set aside the right things for the right families? Does my daughter-in-law in Anacortes, Wa. really want that monster of a table that came to me from the family farm; the table around which we celebrated special occasions in our family for more than 50 years?

     It’s a time for letting go. Its a time of chaos. I missed two meetings that were important to me because I could not keep my calendar straight. I wore slacks to church which is not usual for me because I couldn't get to where my skirts were. I know the passage of time is happening because my prescriptions need to be refilled. I forgot to pay my Visa bill and when I remembered it I couldn't find it. I can't help but ask myself if I’ve created a diversion by this move to avoid dealing with just being. I pray not.

     Out of the letting go and the chaos will come a new beginning. But why is it so hard to keep the WAY; THE PROMISE in front of me? When I DO GET IT, I HANG ON TOO TIGHT AND I LOSE IT AND HAVE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN! WHEN I TRY TO MAKE IT MINE I LOSE IT! But when I accept the gift of it I know the peace that Christ promised. When I accept the gift I can be a real participant in this last season of life and not just a passing through visitor. What a blessing.

     Because we gather together in His name we are each others gifts, because Jane and Michael and Lauren encourage our struggle to be the seekers of truth we will continue to be God’s blessing to each other.

Amen

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