Paul's Page
Animated Rainbow Bar

It's all about me, dammit!

A new, yet still artsy looking shot of me

The picture to the left is me. A sorta artsy looking me. A coupla' people have written to ask why the pictures on our site don't really show me very well. It's because I choose to remain mysterious. An enigma. The bear formerly known as Paul. That, and because I don't really have any good pictures of myself that have been taken this decade.

Okay: About Me. Well, I was born a poor black child in southern Mississippi... er, wait... um, that's not right. Actually, I was born and raised in a suburb near Detroit, Michigan. Whenever I tell people that I'm from Detroit, they sorta step back and look to see if I'm carrying a gun. It's really not that bad. Guns weren't even made manditory in the city until 1991. Now that I live in Chicago, when I tell people where I'm from they always say, "Da Bears!" (...Bulls, Cubs, etc.), while at the same time stepping back to see if I'm carrying a gun. Maybe I'm exagerating. Only the Europeans do this.

I went to college as a Journalism major, and it was there that I decided I wanted to be an artist. After several jobs where my creative talents were not being fully utilized (an understatement), I decided in 1991 to buy a computer and teach myself how to use it. My first design job was for a small studio in Detroit, working on a variety of projects, mostly for automotive companies. I'm now working in the Marketing department of a bank in Chicago, where I also do some copywriting... so I guess the journalism studies paid off.

Lets see, how best to tell you about myself... hmm...

Lets do an interview, high school journalism student style!

Someone You Should Know: Paul Goormastic

By Tiffany Sparkle
Hello, Paul. I'm so honored to be interviewing you! I have some very probing questions that will help me to reveal the real you! Okay... lets get started. What's your favorite food?
  • Um, I like lots of stuff. Especially nibbly things. You know, sundried-tomato-basil-goat-cheese-oregano-proscutto type things. Chicago is a great place for restaurants.

Cool! Okay... What's your favorite musical group and/or artist?
  • Hmm... that's a hard one. I listen to a pretty wide variety of music, and really get into certain people at different times. This week it's Everything But The Girl. I love Tracey Thorn's voice - I could listen to her read the phone book.

Cool! Okay... If you could be anyone, other than yourself, for just one night, who would it be?
  • Mrs. Richard Karn. Go figure.

Wow. Okay... You're going to be stranded on a dessert island, and as the ship goes down, you are only able to take three things: a music cd, a piece of art, and a book. What would you take?
  • Wait a minute. How could I play the cd?

You make a cd player out of coconuts after you are on the island.
  • Okay. Hmm... for the cd, I think I would take "Idlewild," by Everyhing But The Girl. Of course, ask me next week and it would probably be something different. For the artwork, I would probably take something by MC Escher. I can look at his drawings for days. For the book, maybe something by Douglas Adams? On the off chance that I also had my towel with me and needed insight as to how I could best use it to get off the island.

Great! Okay... who is your most admired historical figure, living or dead, and why?
  • Does it have to be somebody real? Not a literary figure?

What's literary?
  • Nevermind. Um... That's another tough one. I would probably have to say Albert Einstein. With all his incredible intelligence and knowledge, he still knew that imagination is the most important thing.

Great! Okay... do you practice a religion?
  • Are you allowed to ask that? This being high school, and all?

You don't have to answer.
  • Just put down Secular Taoist. With Buddist influences.

Is that like Catholic or Jewish or something?
  • Less guilt. Go on.

Great! Okay... What's your favorite color?
  • Grey.

Grey isn't a color.
  • It's a Crayola. That makes it a color.

Grey is a mix of black and white, and neither of them are colors. One is the absence of all color, and the other is the combination of all color.
  • That's only partially true. Anyway, it doesn't matter. It's still my favorite color. I like grey because it aptly represents the very wide range between the absolutes that humans tend to think in. Metaphorically speaking. And 'cause I'm a fall and I look good in it. What's your favorite color?

Mine? Dusty Mauve.
  • Dusty Mauve isn't a color.

What? Why do you say that?
  • It isn't a Crayola.

Um... Okay. Next question: Do you have any pets?
  • Yes. My lover and I have two cats, Simon and Garfunkel. They give us much love and affection and only occasionally toss up a hairball. They are the smartest cats in the universe. Really. Simon is in the process of setting up his own java-script enhanced web site, and Garfunkel is currently working on her PhD in Theoretical Physics at Stanford. We're very proud of them.

Why do you have cats?
  • We're gay men.

You could have a dog.
  • We're lazy gay men. Who live in the city.

Okay! What's your astrological sign?
  • I'm an Aries. A very typical Aries. An unbelievably anal retentive, couldn't-be-more-Aries-if-I-tried Aries.

Great! Okay... do you have any hobbies?
  • Does sex count? Hmm... not really. Computers... photography... music... I like to travel.

What about outside interests?
  • Mike and I are involved with the bear club in Chicago - the Great Lakes Bears. We do a lot of stuff with them.

Bears? Do you mean like grizzlies and polars?
  • Yeah, something like that. And their cubs.

Oh! That's so cute!
  • It can be.

Great! Next question: What are your top five greatest movies of all time?
  • Top five? Hmmm... Okay:
    1. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
    2. Citizen Kane
    3. The Last Emperor
    4. 12 Monkeys
    5. Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

That's a diverse group.
  • It's hard to narrow it down to just five. I'm sure I'm forgetting a favorite.

What about your favorite actors?
  • I don't think that there are any that I really follow, or anything. Not any that are superstars at least. I like Tom Hanks. I think Denzel Washington is very good. I adore Emma Thompson.

What was the last movie you saw?
  • Independence Day. Like everyone else in the United States. It was okay. It blowed up real good.

Great! What was the last book you read?
  • Does it have to be a book that I finished, or one I've kinda been reading off and on for a few months?

Either way.
  • The last book I finished was "Out Loud & Laughing" - a collection of gay and lesbian humor. I'm still reading "We're Right, They're Wrong" by James Carville. I want to memorize much of what he says for use at the appropriate times.

Great! This is my last question: What is the nature of the universe and why do we exist?
  • Oh, that's easy. The universe is a large, mostly empty, very cold space. We exist to spread love, joy and warmth throughout it.

Great! Okay... well, that's our interview. Is there anything that you would like to add?
  • Just one thing. I was having breakfast at a fast food restaurant the other day, and I noticed that on the tray liner it said that their biscuits were "Made From Scratch TM". They had trademarked "Made From Scratch"! I mean, what's next? "100% Pure TM"? "Low Fat TM"? "All Natural TM"? I can see it now: "Try our new 100% Pure TM Low Fat Brand All Natural© Sugar Bombs! They Cure Cancer TM!

That's, um... very interesting.
  • These things amaze me.

Sure. Well, thank you very much for this interview!
  • My pleasure.