An attempt to scan my entire apartment
This all began when I bought a flatbed scanner shortly after getting an internet account.
I hooked the scanner up to my PC (it worked on the first try, pretty amazing for an
IBM compatible peripheral), and then looked around for something to scan. There were all
sorts of papers and magazines on the desk, but it seemed so obvious to scan something flat on
a "flatbed" scanner, so I kept looking. Then I saw a lone sock on the floor, just an arm's
Moments later, the scanner was dutifully grinding away at 72 dots per inch,
and I had embarked on a quest of immense proportions. Why stop at the socks? What about
shoes, sponges, mops, cleansers, cutlery, rubber ducks, nail clippers, and condiments?
They all have a right to be seen.
And so they shall. Now, I present to you the
beginnings of the greatest artistic work since the Sistine Chapel: My apartment!
- Sock - One standard athletic (all cotton) ten year old tube sock
- Under the Kitchen Sink - Special guest Lady Macbeth comments on the use of household cleansers.
- Yankee Pot Roast Dinner - Cassius, Caesar, and Hamlet discuss the power and perils of convenience foods.
- Beef - The quest for fresh meat gets out of hand in the Jeffrey Dahmer Cooking Hour.
- Chinese Condiments - Memories of the days before MSG Prohibition.
- Toilet Seat Covers - The origins of the phrase "Cover your ass"
- Alien Attacker Pilot - "Independence Day" reenacts the European invasion of North America.
- Grape - basically just a grape.
- Yolk - What eggs mean to me.
- Fish, Twinkie Wrapper, Sonogram - Pondering pregnancy.
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