Here are actual case histories of people (and animals!) who have been cloned, or who have purchased clones
from us under the auspices of this program! Some of this information comes to you in the form of
exclusive commentary. To protect privacy, we will pretty much avoid using last names.
This program is in its infancy; but we will shoot for the basket every time. While we have only begun
cloning high-powered basketball stars (most of whom are also still in their infancy, as we haven't
accelerated the aging process for most of the clones in this category), we are looking forward to an
amazing line of Frisbee, ping pong, and mah-jong stars. Just do it!
Our original line of human clones! Minimal biotech, no accelerated aging! Read our testimonials!
The Ordinary Folks Clone Program
Affordable!! You don't have to be rich and famous! While we can't accelerate your clone's growth
so that it appears to be your own age, it will still have all your DNA and your same genotype!
Think of him or her as your very own identical twin, only younger! Rear yourself as you wish you had
been reared!The Sports Clone Program
Want to rear up a biotech sports star, with extra springs in her or his muscles?? With our special,
patented, Sports-Star-Genome-NabberTM, we can even use DNA from the sports hero of your choice!
The Accelerated Clone Program
We age your clone for you through our patented Age-FastTM process, until it is exactly your age! We feed it
your memories, your knowledge base, and your life (as much as you want it to know)! You definitely have to
be rich and famous for this one. Well, rich, anyway. 
The Accelerated Clone Program
BILL
SOCKS
ELVIS
MARTHA
SADDAM
SPOCKThe Sports Clone Program
BASKETBALLThe Ordinary Folks Clone Program
MARTIN
JILL & JACK
Cloning Emporium
people are
considering cloning as you read this.