Cars
Synopsis
Lightning McQueen is an arrogant little rookie racing car who is accidentally
dumped into a middle-of-nowhere town. There he finds a bunch of dopey locals who
teach him how to play well with others.
What I Thought
I have been wanting to see Cars since first seeing a teaser way back in '04.
Well, it's finally here, and I finally went. Apologies to those of you wanted to
read my review a month ago, I had tile to grout. If you had helped me, I would
have gotten to seeing this movie much sooner.
Turns out, this movie is a bit of a disappointment. It's kind of like asking for
another "Mona Lisa" from Da Vinci, but getting a "Lady
with an Ermine" instead and being a bit deflated over the result. You had
such high hopes! The Toy Stories! Finding Nemo! The INCREDIBLES! Cars? Oh.
You try to tell yourself it's still Da Vinci and worth way more than everything
else out there anyway, and you'd give all your left toes AND at least one
testicle to own it (and sell it an hour after you own it, of course!). Plastic
surgery and neuticles would fix you right up, and you'd still have a hundred
million dollars left over to pay off your mortgages and roll around in naked.
Um. Any takers, you know where to find me.
But in the end, this is not Pixar's best. Sorry.
The middle of the movie, where Lightning McQueen Learns His Lesson is REALLLY
Boooooring. Reeeeaaaaalllyyyyy booooooriiiiing.
At one point, I swear to you, I had a flashback to Cats & Dogs, that movie with
talking cats and dogs in it. At one point in the middle of it, you realize
they're just cats and dogs with their little mouths computer enhanced to look
like talking and YOU DON'T CARE. It was cute, cute, cute, cute, and then
nothing. The cuteness runs out. No more thrill. No more excitement. Roll
credits, please.
Pixar normally handles these situations with pizzazz. Throw a bunch of action, a
hilarious sidekick or character (Dory, Edna Mode, the Nemo turtles), or just
give us something gorgeous to look at. One way or the other, they manage to
produce an amazingly tight movie that usually keeps the excitement and humor
going.
But not really in Cars. It falls a little flat. Not even the cute little flying
Volkswagen "bugs" can make me chuckle. And then it gets worse: a badly placed
song lamenting the passing of little towns. In that minute, Cars descends into
schmaltz.
Now I may sound like I hated the movie. I didn't! It had great humor at the
beginning, at the end, and some sections of the usual Pixar brilliance in the
middle. Larry the Cable Guy is hilarious as Mater, the broken down tow truck.
The animation, as always, is amazing and incredible. Just when you don't think
they can do any more, they top the next movie with even more amazing things. In
this one, it is the look of the metal cars, their reflection, their shine. WOW!
But I still mourn the missed opportunity.
One other complaint: no hybrid cars? C'mon! It's the car that allows me to look
my nose down at everybody else and laugh at gas prices!
Make sure you stay through the credits (hilarious drive-in scene!) and after as
well. There's one more scene after the credits are done.
Finally, due to the large swath of boredom in the middle, watch out with taking
little kids to see this. They may get a little antsy.
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